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My Friend’s Immorality Made Me a Better Church Member

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My Friend’s Immorality Made Me a Better Church Member

by Jesse It’s That Part
June 17, 2025
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Curated by It’s That Part™ — Originally published by Faith and Proverbs on June 17, 2025 4:02 am.

My friend and I both committed adultery next month. Because I knew her life and our congregation would long change, I sobbed for hours the night she confessed at a midweek religion meeting. She and I started talking about Scripture and praying up every week, and even though she would claim to be discipling her, we’ve come to learn a lot from our interaction.

Her circumstance gave me pause to consider a troubling issue: local churches don’t always seem like safe places to repent crime. In many ways, Christians may struggle to prolong the joy we’ve received in Christ to another. When I first came across immorality in my church, I realized three things we as church users had to commit to in order for our local congregations to follow the gospel message that the Bible commands.

Pick a Love Against One Another

It’s frequently up to the individual to determine how much they ingrain into another followers ‘ lives. We frequently assume a swift, silent meditation is enough when one claims to be too occupied for Bible reading, skips some church services in a row, or complains about her marriage. However, making assumptions can lead to hazardous errors that can ultimately destroy whole congregations.

My sister’s relationship started with a sweet words communication, but it had a terrible impact on both our church and our family. I had the opportunity to act. After struggling through a difficult year, I assumed she was moved by the sermon when she was crying during the Lord’s Supper. But I didn’t pursue up. I asked if she was okay after seeing her furiously weeping outside our priest’s company, but she rebuffed her evasive answer.

Beliefs can be dangerous, and misunderstood secret sins can ultimately destroy entire congregations.

We can’t control our moral care to our closest friends, so it’s wise to take into account the breadth of a relationship before posing deep-seated concerns. The local church is required to participate in one another’s life in the Bible ( John 17: 3; Heb. 3: 13 ). The challenging talk you engage in could be the change. My friend recently claimed that if I had asked her flimsy reply that time, she would have admitted the affair rather than let it remain.

According to Proverbs 20:5,” A man’s center is like deep waters, but a person of understanding may bring it out.” To beg important issues in a loving manner requires effort and thought. However, the prevalence of quick, superficial discussions in passing on Sunday afternoons can make people believe that Christians had “have it all together.” Instead of having several small conversations, choosing to speak with just one man about how her fortnight went or what God has been imparting to her in the Word.

We must be prepared to ask people nice questions that create a secure environment for confessing sin in order to create a culture where normal repentance is the norm.

Understand the continuing fight we have with evil.

What we typically call “respectable” crimes are quickly confessed by Christians. However, immorality is not one of those crimes. The enormity of sexual immorality is addressed in Scripture, which can entice a believer to deny it and appoint other church members unaware of how to respond to a confession.

The Bible is open about followers ‘ terrible failures. The “man after [God’s ] own heart” ( 1 Sam. 13: 14 ) eyed a married woman, sent messengers to bring her to his room, gave her a baby, and then secured her husband’s death ( 2 Sam ). 11 ). David had been walking with God before this unusual drop. Therefore, we must be aware that Christians have the ability to commit unpleasant sins. This perspective will not only help us listen politely when grave crime is exposed, but it may also help us spot the warning signs in struggling churchgoers.

My friend’s adultery made me remember that even though the Holy Spirit lives within us, our sins will endure until the return of Christ ( Rom ). 7: 19–25 ). It’s proud to cast doubt on a penitent Christian’s spiritual condition just because we haven’t committed the sin she confessed because we are all capable of much deeper crime than we think we are.

In Luke 18: 11, Jesus didn’t praise the Pharisee who boasted of being better than an adulterer in his parable of two men praying ( Luke 18: 11 ). Instead, Jesus praised the tax collector who prayed,” God, be merciful to me, a sin,” (v. 13 ). When severe behavior is exposed in the church, having humility in mind and taking into account our continued struggles with sin fosters compassion and care.

Penitent Sins ‘ Remaining in the community

Some people rejected my friend or ignored her requests for reconciliation after she repented. Maybe this response was the result of a interpretation of Scripture.

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The people of the church are instructed to treat an unrepentant member as a” Gentile and a tax collector” (v. 17 ), which is the passage most closely related to church discipline. And Paul points out that we don’t associate with romantically immoral church members in 1 Corinthians 5:9–13. He advises people to “do not even eat with such people” (v. 11 NIV ). The wicked church member is unashamed in both of these passages, though. A contrite sin is pardoned and welcomed back into good standing with the church.

When a criminal wanders from the truth and is brought up, let him know that whoever brings him back may keep his soul from dying and include a multitude of sins, according to James 5: 19-20. God uses his individuals, his people, to support each other in their devotion.

We have an opportunity to show the breadth of the gospel by drawing the contrite sinner closer and holding them tighter than ever before when one travels and performs grievous sin but prays and turns again to God and the church. People must not be left only in their fight for majesty. By returning a sinner who repents, we visibly demonstrate the gospel and indicate Christ’s heart.

God uses his people to support each other in their devotion.

Although my sister’s adultery caused suffering in both her and our church’s lives, the Lord has been faithful to bring about peace in this difficult situation. She and her partner have reconciled, and they are flourishing in the body of Christ, by the grace of God. And this challenging time has also had an impact on how I view my duty to other church people. By drawing one another out, becoming aware of our own ongoing battle with evil, and learning to get repentant sinners, we may create healthy church communities where cracked people collectively battle for determination in the belief.

For truth in every fact, visit itsthatpart.com.

Originally sourced via trusted media partner. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/adultery-better-church-member/

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